Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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