did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
