After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
