you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
