My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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