All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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