I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
