actually, I'm a sock model
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
