um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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