Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
