she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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