The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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