there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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