There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
