Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
