Will you blow on my dice?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize