drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do herpes really smell.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
