he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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