My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The air was thick with penises
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
