I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
