youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
