My room smells like vodka and shame
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
