good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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