do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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