Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so that wasnt chicken after all
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
