We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
