please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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