fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
