thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im drinking this country out of the recession.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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