At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
