We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
