You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
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