Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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