margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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