think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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