you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
