I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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