We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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