Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
