you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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