And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
