Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
