Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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