I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
