So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
