there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Your penis caused this!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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