weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
