Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm like, not good at living.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize