Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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