great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
