member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize