Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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