she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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