Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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