ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
