I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
MIDGETS
????
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
