the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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