Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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