wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
