she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
