I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
