but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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