I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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