Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
