I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize