My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
