Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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