I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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