it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize