Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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